Tuesday, January 26, 2021

"The Best of Me" by David Sedaris

As the title suggests, The Best of Me is a collection of Sedaris' hits, or at least essays he feels best represent him (after all, his most famous, "Santaland Diaries," is not included). That meant that I'd read several of the stories before, though enough distance has passed that they flitted only vaguely on the edge of my memory. Sedaris is NPR-funny--earning a light chuckle rather uproarious laughter--but his best stories touch on our hypocrisy, our tendency to self-aggrandize, our simultaneous rejection of and solace in our upbringing. This collection showcases those themes well, serving as a sort of Sedaris primer.

Though the book is a mixture of fiction and nonfiction, it wisely skews towards Sedaris' personal essays. I found the fiction pieces forgettably silly, with cliched jabs at easy targets. The essays, though, focus primarily on his family, particularly his relationships with his parents and his sister Tiffany, who died by suicide. Also there's a lot of essays about air travel.

The worst part of putting all those essays together in a single collection is that much gets repeated. The essays were initially published separately, but put together, we hear about Sedaris and partner Hugh's purchase of a beach home or Sedaris' inability to learn French or Tiffany's death multiple times. The benefit of putting so many similarly-themed essays together is that we do feel a real sense of the Sedaris family and of the contradictions inherent in loving motley people brought together by birth, not choice. 

Sedaris speaks fondly of his father, especially in old age, despite his father's lack of support, particularly when Sedaris was young. It's almost surprising when we head his father cut David out of his will. Sedaris adores his mother, but we later hear of her alcoholism, a problem the family did little to address. He speaks of ups and downs with Tiffany, though at the end we hear the last time he saw her alive was when he had the door shut on her as she approached during one of his readings. Despite the challenges, the dominant theme towards his family is affection and devotion. Given today's emphasis on making your own way, of letting go of family expectations and baggage, it's almost surprising. Of course, Sedaris is not a young man, despite often writing as if he were. Maybe it's age that provides perspective.

There's something warm and comforting about Sedaris' writing: a reminder that you're not that neurotic; condolences that other people think shitty things too; a shared disgust for fellow airplane passengers. In that way, The Best of Me is a cozy read, maybe even ideal for "these uncertain times" (I know, but it's overused because it works... or I'm just lazy.)

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